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A Beginner’s Guide to Whipping – Social Distancing Edition
Hi again, I’m Monica, and I enjoy BDSM. I am considered a “Switch,” which means that I enjoy being both a Top and also a bottom, but I am getting ahead of myself. Although whipping isn’t specifically a BDSM exclusive, it can be integrated with vanilla sex. Never the less, I strongly advise you to read my A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM – Social Distancing Edition, it will help you along your journey.
Short disclaimer: all of these tips and advice are given based on my own experience. You shouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself or make yourself uncomfortable on purpose, and if you require medical or mental help, seek proper professionals.
As before, The Coronavirus or COVID-19 situation is still creating a problematic scenario in my way of living. I still have a “normal job,” but at nights, I always like to write about my sexual experience, tips, and guides about sexual behavior and fun products. I only recently described how to remove unwanted smells from silicone toys, and if you haven’t read it, now is a great time, especially if you are just getting into sex toys.
I’m happy to inform you that I’m back in my vanilla job, but that hasn’t stopped me from writing about the things I love from home. I’m getting over my breakup, and I have you, the Restricted21 community, to thank for. All your feedback had been very positive, and I love getting it, keep it at! But enough this sob story, you’re not here for that (are you?) Here is the Beginner’s Guide to Whipping.
How it all began
Intro: Basic Whipping concepts
Before I get down to the nitty-gritty and believe me it’s gritty, let’s get down to basics with a dictionary for whipping if you will. I may include some definitions from my BDSM guide to keep you up to speed:
Whip – A strip of leather or cord fastened to a handle that usually has support. Delivers a sharp and precise pain, so be careful not to whip the genitalia area.
Flogger – What is a flogger? A flogger is a whip with many tassels. It can be used anywhere on the body, but especially the back, bottom, or thighs.
Spank – Spanking is when your hand or an object is slapped against your skin’s biggest sex organ. It provides sensation and advances blood circulation for better sensitivity.
Session – The space or time in which the relationship between two whipping partners (or more) occur. Usually, when the session ends, you return to “normal” or vinyl.
Safeword – No whipping or spanking session should start without it. A word or phrase that is agreed upon participants before the session. When mentioned by either party, the session is immediately over. For whipping, you can add several words to stop, continue, and pause, usually with the colors red, yellow, and green.
Consent – Mutual agreement to the terms of a session or continuous BDSM relationship.
Slave – Slave, submissive, bottom, or sub for short. You are at the receiving end, you enjoy pain, and being dominated.
Master – Master, dominate, Top, or Dom for short. You are at the giving end, and you enjoy inflicting pain and domination.
Switch – As the name suggests, you can switch between roles. Be the Dominate, and then become the submission.
Vanilla – Someone that is not into BDSM or sexual behavior that does not include BDSM activity. The term can also be used as an adjective.
Limits – What someone will not engage in (hard limits), or is reluctant to do so (soft limits).
Aftercare – In BDSM play, the period immediately following a session between the Top or Dom. It often includes cuddling, talking, slowly returning to the vanilla world.
Chapter 1: Where and how to start?
Like with BDSM, whipping or flogging is about trust. Don’t start a kinky sex session with someone you don’t trust, it’s common sense. When you find a partner that you can trust, you can begin the fun.
Contrary to belief, whipping or flogging is not an inherent part of BDSM, and is even considered vanilla sex in some places.
To start whipping, you need a whip, but if you want to get going with light spanking, you don’t need anything but your steady hand. I’m not talking about fists that can break walls, but spanking can hurt the spanker or Top, even more than the spankee, or bottom.
I encourage you to try and experiment before sessions. Different people can have different reactions and thresholds for pain. Consult with your partner before, from my experience. It’s not something you want to surprise your sex partner with.
Chapter 2: Choose your weapon - Spank, Whip, or flog?
As mentioned before, spanking is done with your hand, but you can also use other creative items, such as the back of a hairbrush.
The paddle is also fair game for the spanker. Always test before starting a session, even on yourself. You’ll be surprised by the power that professional equipment delivers.
The flogger is like whip usually with tails or tassels at the end. Be careful of the tails, they are made of rubber and can pack a mean punch.
The whip is probably the Top Dog between the three and can deliver the most pain, with even minimal strength. It can bruise and cut, so use caution and care. Start with less sensitive areas, like the arm, or back, before you continue to more sensitive areas like ass and thighs.
Only you know how much pain you can take or give. I advise you the same way I encourage all my Vanilla newbies or first-timers: experiment.
Chapter 3: Aftercare - after the whipping comes the loving
Aftercare is the manner of reassuring your companion that you care. It can be interpreted in many ways, but it usually involves affection, love, hugs, physical touches, cuddling, and more.
The session went great, the Dom has done his part, and now all the kinky toys and the sub can rest. But this is a crucial time for you as a couple, to help and maintain each other. You had fun bur afterward it can leave one or both of you feeling unsettled after the session is over.
After the game, the sub or spankee can feel “drop” in his feeling; this is usually in sync with the drop of adrenaline and endorphins in his body. Sometimes it is called ‘sub-drop’, and should be taken seriously.
Some sessions can be intense on the skin, and it’s a good idea to soothe the area afterward with proper lotion, ice, and some TLC. Aloe vera creams and gels contain a natural substance that is recommended and can are bought over the counter.
After the session, the Top needs to take care of the bottom and monitor his behavior. He may be in shock, or a frozen state depending on the intensity. As before, the Top should use judgment, if he thinks it is too intense and the bottom isn’t signaling this, stop.
Aftercare can be even more critical than the session itself, but not all subs need it to “get back” to the vanilla real world.
Whipping if a fun way to spice up your relationship, but you need to do it at your own pace. I know I only scratched the surface. There are lots of other aspects and materials to use.
As discussed before, this is, after all, a beginner’s guide to whipping, so I would like you to take things gradually. Whipping is about consent and trust. I can’t stress this enough.
For your sake, use proper care when playing with others or yourself to receive the most pleasure.